


Do You Know How Special You Are?

by FallOrLetGo



Series: Days of a Man's Crowded Mind [4]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-10 21:18:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallOrLetGo/pseuds/FallOrLetGo
Summary: Patton decides to go around and give some "Special Checks" to all the other Sides.Do you know how special you are? :)





	1. Chapter 1: On the Virge of Comfort

Everyone needs to be reminded that they’re special every now and then. Good days, bad days, some days where it doesn’t matter: it’s always nice to be told you’re worth something.

That’s what Patton thinks of course, and inherently, that’s what Thomas tries to remind himself every day.

And thus, that’s what Patton tries to remind all the other Sides in Thomas’s head.

Patton skirted over to Virgil’s room very quietly, holding a single brownie- with mint chocolate chips in it, of course! They’re Virgil’s favorite, but none of the other Sides know except for Patton. The anxious kid never ever outrightly asks for them (as you’d probably expect), so it was just sheer luck that Patton found a small bag of them in his dresser drawer during one of his routine “Checks”. Needless to say, it was the least Patton could do for his dark, bittersweet son.

The cardigan-draped moral Side knocked on the black and purple door very lightly with a little Shave and a Haircut rhythm (something he always did with Virgil’s door nowadays so Virge always knows that Dad’s coming in). There was some rustling behind the door before Virgil said, “you can come in, Dad.”

Patton smiled brightly at the welcome, and peaked his head into the dark bedroom to see Virgil snuggled up in a bunch of blankets, absolutely looking like he was hiding something. Patton’s smile faltered into a small look of worry.

“Everything alright there, kiddo? I brought you a brownie since you passed Roman and Thomas’s Checks today, b-but if something happened after them-” Virgil’s eyes quickly widened upon realizing how he must’ve looked.

“Woah woah woah, Pat, that’s not at all what happened, I promise! I just… well… I…” Virgil’s actions finished his sentence as he pulled away his blankets, revealing his attire. The dark persona was wrapped up in a Jack Skellington onesie, it including the fuzzy bat bow tie, tailcoats, and a hood with Jack’s face and some holes to see through the eyes.

Patton was silent for a second, then  _ immediately _ squealed.

“ **Oh my goodness! You look so cute, Virge! You should wear your onesie more often! I didn’t even know you had one! Oh, we should have a onesie movie night, everyone would love it! It suits you so well…** ” Patton’s little rant continued as he scurried up to the dark Side and sat next to him, handing him the plate with the mint-chip brownie. A very slight smile peered over Virgil’s face, and he unconsciously leaned ever so slightly into the fatherly Side, making himself a little comfortable against the other. Patton noticed of course, but didn’t make a scene out of it, knowing that pointing it out would put Virgil on his usual edge. 

Today seemed like it was a good day for him, and that’s great… Patton couldn’t be more proud.

“Hey, Virge?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I need to do a Special Check.”

“Special check?” Virgil looked up at Patton, slightly confused, but there was that amazing grin on Patton’s face.

“ **Do you know how special you are?** ” Patton queried. Virgil smirked, then fell a thoughtful look on his face. It took him a second to think of a solid response.

“Well… usually, the answer’s definitely a no,” Virgil said with a small frown. “But… I think... at least today… I can kind of see that I  _ can _ know that I’m kind of good… and that feels... special?” There was a rising blush on his face as he looked away, clearly feeling embarrassed at describing his feelings. “I mean, that’s probably way too optimistic considering all the Checks I’ve been failing recently…”

“Hey, hey,” Patton hushed Virgil softly and put an arm around his shoulder. This time, Virgil tensed, but Patton slowly pulled the scared Side softly into his embrace, and he felt that tenseness slightly decrease. “A handful of failures doesn’t mean anything. You’ve been doing well recently, and even if you weren’t, the four of us are all going to be there to guide you through it. Being alone can be good for some people, and some moments, and some events, but you never  _ have _ to be alone, Virgil. That’s always okay.”

Virgil didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to. His muscles were more relaxed, and his breathing was even, and his face lacked that blush of embarrassment. Right now, he felt good, and he felt okay. And that made Patton  _ so _ proud.

Eventually, Virgil looked up at Pat with a small smirk, and pulled over the hood of his onesie.

“Do you wanna watch Nightmare Before Christmas with me?”

“After I get my cat onesie, I am on that hype train. It sure sounds purrfect to me”

“ _ Patton don’t you start.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, sorry it's been so long! This fic is planned to be short and multi-chaptered, so I hope you enjoy it! I got the idea when I was helping a friend with depression during a school event, and a *lovely* teacher walked up to us and asked them, "Special check! Do you know how special you are?" I found it way too adorable and Patton was immediately brought to mind! 
> 
> Anyway, kudos, comments, potion recipes, Latin incantations, Greek enchantments, descriptive explanations analyzing Shakespearean literature, and your favorite Halloween movies, are all appreciated! Have an AMAZING day! <3


	2. Chapter 2: Lo(gan)wering Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Logan's turn to face the adorable wrath of Patton.

“ **Gah!** ”

Logan threw his head up in a rush, recognizing he seemed to have drifted off to sleep. His head swarmed itself with questions:  _ Did Thomas fall asleep too? Where is he? _

… That question was quickly answered with a soft snoring sound invading Logan’s mind. Logan  _ knew _ he was just out of the mindscape in Thomas’s apartment, yet in his head, he was seeing Thomas fast asleep on the couch there.  _ Well that answers that question. I was pushed into the mindscape. _

Logic rubbed his neck, looked at the clock, and cringed. It was the Devil’s Hour, as Virgil always puts it, and there was definitely much more work to do. Getting up, the logical Side carefully stood up to make a cup of coffee . He has theorized that caffeine works better when the host drinks it, or when the coffee is  _ not _ a figment of Thomas’s brain, but right now Thomas doesn’t seem like he can drink anything... or go anywhere.

On cue, Logan involentarily yawned vociferously, and almost tripped over his own foot, as if only his body was drunk. He smiled to himself.  _ That is  _ **_fascinating..._ ** _ Thomas being asleep has automatically decreased my motor skills. _ Even though he’s been with Thomas his whole life, the causes and effects between the two of them were still  _ incredible _ . He smiled fondly at the thought of his host as he wandered carefully to the mindscape’s kitchen ( Yes, it was identical to Thomas’s kitchen in the apartment.).

Mug, check. Microwave, check. Instant coffee (while not preferred, is the quickest and most efficient choice), check. Pot holder, check. Logan prepared everything and put the mug in the microwave.

**_Poof!_ **

Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Without looking at whom has sunk into the room with him, he anticipated getting a fatherly ear-full about how him staying up so late is really bad. Logic heard the unknown aspect huff and hit their foot on the side of the kitchen’s entrance.

“Kinda crappy being awake when Thomas isn’t, huh?”

Logan laughed, partially relieved, and turned around to see the dark Side leaning slickly against the door frame. 

“You have  _ no _ idea.” Logan responded. Virgil smirked at the reply, and went over to the cabinet to grab some Lucky Charms, soon jumping up onto the counter and pouring a handful of the cereal into his hand.

“Dare I ask what you’ve been working on so late, pocket protector?”

“Not if you want to be queried over what you’ve been doing in tandem.”

“... Fair point. You planning on sleeping anytime soon?” The microwave dinged, and Logan stepped over to grab the contents out of it.

“Negative. I’ve still got a surplus of work to do, and I must keep to my defined schedule. Thus, I… oh, darn it!”

The two of them saw the cup at the same time, and both realized that Logan failed to put any water in it. There was a dull silence as Logan looked up at Virgil frustratedly, until the dark Side just grinned, causing Logan to do quickly the same. They laughed off Logan’s frustration together.

“So are you rethinking the whole not-going-to-bed thing?” Virgil asked with a sharp tone. He  _ was _ hiding it, but Virgil did come over here to check up on Logic. He’s been on override for most of the week, and all that work was taking its toll on both Logan and his host.

Logan went to fill up the microwaved mug with water, and Virgil couldn’t see his facial expression. Nonetheless, he could’ve sworn there was a defeated sigh.

“I can’t, Anxiety. It is dire for Thomas to finish this script, then expand a few more ideas for at least the next 5 videos, and then learn a few more ways to make editing take less time for him, because that is the primary hassle with video-making, thus making it very improbable for-”

“-Logan, hold the hell up. I’ll be right back. I’m getting Patton.” Virgil put his hand up (put the cereal down), and quickly sunk out before Logan can ask what Virgil planned on doing. 

Before the logical Side could even ponder the predicament, Virgil had returned, whispering in the ear of a partially-asleep Morality, who was slowly becoming more awake as they spoke. Dad saw Logan, and immediately took a step closer, his eyes following Logan’s tensed muscles, bags under his eyes, slumped posture, and the unconscious avoidance of looking Patton in the eye. The moral Side gave a small smile.

“Sleep.”

“Patton, you know that I can’t!” Logan immediately tried to reason, but Patton was already walking behind him and pushing him out of the kitchen and closer to Logan’s bedroom. Virgil already grabbed Logan by the wrist and carefully guided Logan to the same area (although he didn’t do so very forcefully; Logan always noticed that Virgil was always very physically gentle... Logan’s mind drifted to the mannerisms of a small cat…). “ _ Patton! _ ”

“Logan, you need to take care of yourself, bud,” Patton reasoned. “You know you work best with lots of sleep, at the  _ very _ least sleeping whenever Thomas is sleeping!”

“I second that,” Virgil responded. “I’m a problem when it’s this far in the night and I’m awake, but this time we’re both awake, and the fact that three out of four of us are awake while Thomas is asleep is probably really bad for him.” 

Logan opened his mouth to continue to argue, but of course, at the worst possible time, the three Sides forcibly yawned in unison. Logan frowned, and rolled his eyes. Patton’s voice got rather soft.

“Logan, can I perform a certain Special Check?”

“Special… Check? How would one perform a Special Check?”

“Well there’s one simple question, Logan.  **Do you know how special you are?** ” Patton asked, no longer pushing at Logan, but now having his hand on his shoulder lightly. Virgil still gripped Logan’s hand lightly, slightly tense, awaiting the logical Side’s response.

Logan opened his mouth, but closed it again. Then opened his mouth, but closed it once more, a million separate answers wanting to be said at once. 

_What kind of question was that?_ _Well of course it was an emotional question. Emotions._ ** _Damn emotions_** _. They’re waiting for a response. How do I feel about my response? Uniqueness and “being special” are all subjective in the human mind. No one is “special,” yet still technically everyone is… do I feel special? Do I feel unique?_

“... is that a no?” Virgil quietly asked.  _ Of course Virgil would know the feeling… When did I last Check him? It was on Tuesday. Who Checked him last? _ “Lo? Come back to us here.”

“I… well… um…” Logan tried to formulate words, but he kept getting slightly choked up. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I am not the emotional type. Thus, this is a difficult question to address, although you both know I am trying very hard to improve my understanding the emotions I feel, but it has proved to be a difficult feat…” Logan just sighed. “No. It has come to my attention that I do not feel all that unique or special at the moment.”Patton lead the three of them onto the couch, and they all sat down. Logan put his head in his hands for a few moments and straightened his tie. “... All I can supply Thomas is fact, which is nothing of originality. I can only work on the simple, busy things that anyone can really do. Logically speaking, how can I be special and unique when I’m only summative of what Thomas learns from other things? ” 

Patton wrapped his arm around Logan, and glanced at Virgil, whose face had a grim, understanding shadow across it; he knew the dark Side still has not let go of Logan’s hand.

“Logan, you are much more than just facts!” Patton stated in a levelheaded voice. “You’re  _ curiosity _ , you’re applying what you observe in the world to Thomas’s personal dilemmas, you’re efficiency, and a level head in a dangerous situation, and you’re the  **beautiful, wonderful** urge to learn about the universe!”

“... Lo, you knowing and understanding and applying everything we take from the world kind of enhances all of our thoughts and feelings too. You can believe  _ me _ of all people when I say that dealing with the feeling that you’re worthless is hard. Also, just in general, emotions are  **shitty as all hell** ...” Logan quietly laughed at that bold statement. “... but you’ve once told me before that, in life, every valley eventually leads to another peak… so, you’re just kinda in a valley right now. And that’s okay. But like, you’re always special to us, and we can help you see it every now and then.”

Logan pressed his thumb lightly against both eyes as to wipe away the dampness. He looked at Patton, then to Virgil, and laughed to himself.

“I am aware of Patton being so emotionally poignant from time to time, but Virgil, I thought we had an understanding between being so outright sentimental,” Logan teased lightheartedly. Virgil laughed, and added a sardonic quip.

“I am not shocked! I’ve always considered the two of us to be the  _ most _ emotionally stable in Thomas’s head! Woah, I’m hurt, Lo,” Virgil gave his signature smirk, something that all three of them found much more comforting than they would admit.

“So… we alright, Logan? At least for now?” Patton asked with a light smile. Logan relaxed into Patton’s arm, all three of them yawned, and he happily smiled.

“I think that would be an acceptable assessment,” he responded. They all sat there for a few minutes silently, right next to one another, no one making a sound. The only eventual disturbance was when all three Sides once again yawned, and all proceeded to quietly laugh. Patton looked at the other two.

“Soooo, nap time?”

“Absolutely.”

“.... Additional affirmation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :) 
> 
> ...I usually only upload chapters after I've finished the next chapter after it, BUT I did not follow that rule for this story just because I liked it so much, so the next chapter might take a little bit! But it is definitely coming! I hope your day is awesome, and if it wasn't, no big deal :) There's always tomorrow 
> 
> ALSO, I didn't mention that there's 1000 views on It'll All Make Sense Again?!?! Like, oh my goodness gracious, you guys are amazing?!?!?!


	3. Chapter 3: Roma(i)ning Positive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman's turn to reach get some love from all the Sides <3

In all honesty, Roman was the least of Patton’s worries for comfort.  _ Obviously _ everyone has struggles, but in the midst of Virgil’s fear and Logan’s denial of emotions, Roman  **did** appear more emotionally sound in comparison, which is why Patton didn’t think that it’d mean all that much to perform a Special Check on darling Princey.

**_But,_ ** he was definitely going to do so anyway, because everyone deserves some love now and then. Thus, there Patton was, a bouquet of flowers in his hand (from reality of course, because the real ones are always better... even though real things can’t really stay in Thomas’s head for very long: after awhile they usually reappear randomly wherever Thomas is, but not before that object fills Thomas’s thoughts), about to knock on the door.

So that’s what Dad did, and he heard some  ~~_ frantic _ ~~ rustling behind the door… and a handful of sniffles…

“Is there some great,  **heroic** feat I can accomplish for you, Patton?!” Roman bursted open the door with his usual gusto… but Patton could see it all.

Creativity had a rosy tint on his skin, and his eyes had a small puffiness.  _ Had… had Roman been crying? _

“Oh! Well kiddo, I know that you’ve been helping out Logan a lot with scripts and ideas and such, and I wanted to reward you with some flowers, because I know you love them. They’re real, so they won’t be here for very long, but it was a nice thought… and…” Patton sighed, and looked at Roman. “Roman? Are you alright?”

That’s when Patton watched it for a less than a second: Roman deflated. His eyes sunk, his posture slackened, his muscles tensed, and he looked like the weight of the world was caught in his shoulders.

And within moments, he was back to his usual attitude.

“I’m Chim Chim Cheery!” Roman grinned. “Aha! See what I did there… it was… real clever. _Anyway_ , you are on top today, Patton! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Roman gladly took the bouquet and put them up to his nose. His smile was... _off_. It didn’t reach his eyes, and he looked more tired than usual _or did they always look that tired?_ . “I should be heading back in now, Dad, but thank you so, _so_ much…” With that, Roman quickly shut the door on Patton, clearly knowing that his current emotional state was being evaluated. Behind the door, Patton sighed, upset with knowing Roman’s upset. Regardless, he quickly went away to get the other two.

He needs emotional reinforcements.

♦    ♦    ♦    ♦

 

“Do we happen to know  _ why _ Roman is feeling this way?” Logan pondered, sitting in the kitchen with the other two. 

“Honestly, it could just be all the work he’s been dealing with recently, and the lack of time we’ve had for any sort of emotional outlets,” Patton responded, chewing on a cookie.  _ Sure _ , now wasn’t the  **best** time for a cookie break, but it didn’t hurt to keep the mind motivated. 

“Well…” Virgil added, a little quiet. He wasn’t used to having to help Roman with his problems… it was usually the other way around. “Do you think he could represent something else, that we don’t know about? Like, he could be feeling one of Thomas’s main insecurities. I mean, we’re starting to figure out that they aren’t  _ all _ just me, so…” 

“Yes… I was beginning to think the same thing…” Logan mentioned tentatively. 

“I really think we should talk to our little guy. I mean, it might be awkward at first, but to get an answer, we’ve gotta ask the question!” Patton stood up from his chair and looked at the other two, who followed accordingly. The trio walked down the mindscape carefully to Roman’s room. Patton knocked on the door.

“Hey, Ro? Can you come over to the kitchen with the three of us, please? We’d just like to talk to you really quickly, you’re not in trouble or anything!” Morality lightly said.

“ _ If we bring up that he could be in trouble he might just think that he’s in trouble- _ ”

“ _ Virgil, objectively speaking, if one is told that they are not in trouble, that logically means that they are not in trouble-” _

The bickering was halted by the sounds from inside the room.

Small sniffles.

Roman was crying.  _ Definitely _ crying. Yet, his voice sounded perfectly intact.

“Alright, fam. I’ll be out in a single  **boppity** second! Just give me a little to freshen up!”

The three weren’t expecting this. They all just looked at each other as they walked back to the kitchen, simply confused.  _ What could’ve had Roman to act like this? _

Sure enough, he did appear, and it wasn’t to anyone’s surprise that there was no trace of any tears.

“What’s hippity-happenin’?” he casually went to sit on the counter next to Virgil (the two of them  _ never _ sat in any chair), a smile plastered onto his face. “Yes yes, I  _ know _ Patton has said that before, so excuse me for my unoriginality. Anyway...” He gestured to continue.

“Well… Roman… we just kinda wanted to know… are you alright?” Patton asked in his Dad Voice, the one he always used to comfort others.

“Yes, it has come to our attention that you’ve been, well, “out-of-it,” to put it colloquially. We’re concerned for you and your wellbeing,” Logan added.

“You guys, I’m doing fantastic! Was that what this was all about?” Roman laughed away their worry. Logan frowned and pointed at the creative Side.

“You’re attempting to use your strength at acting to dissuade us from the current situation. We’ve come to realize that you’re most definitely  _ not _ okay, but  _ you _ don’t want us to worry, in fear of making you look inferior… but that’s just not going to happen!”

“Look, Logan, I’m fine, okay?” Roman was getting a bit more defensive. “There’s nothing-”

“Ro,” Virgil finally said, in his slow, quiet, demanding, voice. Roman’s features immediately softened. “Please?” 

Roman didn’t respond.

“... Hey Roman?” Patton finally asked. “ **Do you know how special you are?** ”

And then Roman frowned.

And then the tears started to fall.

“I-I’m sorry about this you guys, it’s j-just that I  **act** like everything’s fantabulous, and I try to be the hero, and I try to help everybody, and I try to make it as if it is all okay. And a lot of times, it  _ is _ okay, but acting like it’s  _ always _ okay?  _ Every single moment _ ? It’s suffocating!” Roman placed his hand over his face as if it’ll help mask his feelings. “I-I don’t want to  **say** anything, I mean, look at me! I can’t say I’m not okay! What would Thomas think of me? It’s like… it’s like being a lightswitch that is  _ always _ turned on regardless of everything around it. It just… gets me down sometimes…”

The three audience members sat silently for a few seconds, then all in unison rose up to give Roman a group hug. The very first thing you do to calm Roman down is a grandiose gesture. Thus, the coordination sufficed. No one pointed it out, but Roman’s muscles relaxed in tandem.

“Ro, buddy,” Patton broke the silence softly. “You  **never** have to be “on” all the time! If a light was always on, it’s blink out twice as fast!” He squeezed the Prince tightly and gave him a light kiss on the forehead. “You need to take a break every once in awhile, and Thomas wouldn’t even think anything of it! In fact, he’d probably be able to improve from a little relaxing time!”

“Yeah, Roman, we can all work on taking group relaxation and growing less anxious over everything,” Virgil responded. Roman softly chuckled. “Yes, yes, I understand the irony, Ro!” Virgil laughed and ruffled Roman’s hair.

“I don’t… I don’t even know how to  _ start _ to do any of this…” Roman started.

“Roman, we are  _ more _ than happy to aid you. I’ve studied about breaking unhealthy habits, and we can always work towards yours. It can work out, Roman: it can always work itself out,” Logan smiled softly, and that was all Roman needed to hear.

They stayed like that for a while, just talking. Soon closing the night with yet another movie night (Hocus Pocus, which was Roman’s favorite Halloween movie).

Outside of the mindscape, Thomas  _ felt _ like different something was going on, like,  _ good _ different. Though, he didn’t really mind; he was calm, relaxed, and happy, which is something that does not happen often.

Which made it all the more special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it took so long for this! Just so you all know, there MIGHT (repeat, MIGHT) be a last chapter to this story, but as of now, I don't think I'm going to add one just because I don't think I'd be able to expand the idea and give it justice.
> 
> Regardless of my tardiness, I really hope you enjoyed <3 I'm not sure when my next addition of the Series will be (as you can guess I have a slightly inconsistent schedule), but if you guys have any particular ideas for events happening in this little Series, I'd be more than happy to hear them <3
> 
> Comments, kudos, incantations, fanart, battles of beat poetry, reviews on Nostalgia Pt. 2 (it's gonna come out today! I'm so excited!) are ALL appreciated! Stay awesome, because you all are!


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